My Last Night


So many people are lost and hurting. The ministry we used to be a part of was full of youth who struggle with major issues on a daily basis. I’ve talked to many of them who have faced suicide at one point or another. Like everyone else on this planet, they need love. They don’t need to be judged for what they’ve done in the past. They need to know who they are in Christ. I wrote another song this morning as I sat here thinking about that.

 

My Last Night
Copyright 2014 Chris Martin

(verse one)

Standing at the edge of silence, time is no longer my friend
In this moment, I have to decide, no one will hurt me again
The tears stream down, I tremble in the shadow of my fear
I cried out to You, no reply, thought You said You were always here

Candlelight flickers in the darkness, cold steel pressed against my skin
A note on the table, reasons why, I can’t be hurt again
You won’t understand, might force a smile through the tears
But no one will ever know, what you did to me all these years

(chorus)

This is my last night
I give up the fight
I can’t take this pain anymore
Time to step through the open door

I’m so alone, I need to be strong
I’ve carried this burden for way too long
Does darkness await, or will it be light
No matter what, this is my last night

This is my last night

(verse two)

Sitting at the edge of my bed, time is my only friend
In this moment, I have to decide, I want to let you in
The tears stream down, I tremble, but not in fear
I cried out to You, the answer came, I feel You here

Candlelight flickers in the darkness, cold steel cast to the floor
A note in the trash, I have no reason to doubt You anymore
You’re the only one Who understands, I smile through the tears
Soon everyone will know, You’ve been calling to me all these years

(chorus)

This is my last night
I don’t have to fight
I won’t carry this pain anymore
On bended knee, I step through Your open door

I’m never alone, You make me strong
I’ve carried this burden for way too long
The darkness is gone, I now walk in the light
No matter what, this is my last night

This is my last night

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4 thoughts on “My Last Night

  1. I have been to the place in this song more times that I ever care to remember, right from the age of 8. I found Christ in my twenties but it didn’t stop the pain. Finally the Lord let me get close enough to dying to be able to see all the reasons I needed to live. Thank you for this. It is beautiful. God has spoken through you in a very beautiful, powerful and moving way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is why, as your last post I read comes to mind, personally reaching out to people and simply showing genuine love in everyday life is so important. When I love someone, I don’t do a blanket proclamation of religion or condemnation. Some people need hellfire and brimstone, because they don’t understand they’re in trouble. But some people know they’re sinners. They’re looking for something more. And then others need evidence of the truth of the Word. And others simply want to hear what God did in your own life. I’m not shunning preaching or evangelism, but when it’s in love, we truly “hear” the other person and when we know where they’re at, we can show them Jesus more clearly. 🙂
    I knew life sucked. I wanted meaning, I wanted to know there was something more out there in the dark than just the end of my fingertips. When Jesus showed Himself to me, that was all I needed. The purpose He gave me, the love that He showed me, was all I needed. I didn’t need the Bible to be proven scientifically (although some people do). I didn’t need a miracle (although that’s how it happens with some people). Etc.
    Christ didn’t condemn the repentant prostitutes. He condemned the scribes and Pharisees, who thought they were perfect.
    Keep loving like Christ!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. as one who has recently tried to commit suicide (over a month ago) these words about not carrying pain anymore touched me deeply. Still waiting to hear the answer, still managing to keep going every day to hear the calling.
    Great song Chris

    Like

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