My Last Night


So many people are lost and hurting. The ministry we used to be a part of was full of youth who struggle with major issues on a daily basis. I’ve talked to many of them who have faced suicide at one point or another. Like everyone else on this planet, they need love. They don’t need to be judged for what they’ve done in the past. They need to know who they are in Christ. I wrote another song this morning as I sat here thinking about that.

 

My Last Night
Copyright 2014 Chris Martin

(verse one)

Standing at the edge of silence, time is no longer my friend
In this moment, I have to decide, no one will hurt me again
The tears stream down, I tremble in the shadow of my fear
I cried out to You, no reply, thought You said You were always here

Candlelight flickers in the darkness, cold steel pressed against my skin
A note on the table, reasons why, I can’t be hurt again
You won’t understand, might force a smile through the tears
But no one will ever know, what you did to me all these years

(chorus)

This is my last night
I give up the fight
I can’t take this pain anymore
Time to step through the open door

I’m so alone, I need to be strong
I’ve carried this burden for way too long
Does darkness await, or will it be light
No matter what, this is my last night

This is my last night

(verse two)

Sitting at the edge of my bed, time is my only friend
In this moment, I have to decide, I want to let you in
The tears stream down, I tremble, but not in fear
I cried out to You, the answer came, I feel You here

Candlelight flickers in the darkness, cold steel cast to the floor
A note in the trash, I have no reason to doubt You anymore
You’re the only one Who understands, I smile through the tears
Soon everyone will know, You’ve been calling to me all these years

(chorus)

This is my last night
I don’t have to fight
I won’t carry this pain anymore
On bended knee, I step through Your open door

I’m never alone, You make me strong
I’ve carried this burden for way too long
The darkness is gone, I now walk in the light
No matter what, this is my last night

This is my last night

Arise


I’ve been writing some lyrics the last couple of days. That’s how it happens for me. I’ll go for months not writing anything like that, and then all of a sudden, BOOM, I start getting ideas like crazy. This morning’s creation is entitled Arise.

 
Arise
Copyright 2014 Chris Martin

(verse one)

There was a time when darkness was all I knew
Living for me, not even thinking about You
Pushing the limits, testing Your reach
Running from the light, dying inside of me

But Your hand reached down, despite my shame
A whisper in the night, You called me by name
You said arise, my son, it’s time to come home
There was never a time when you were all alone

(chorus)

Arise
Step out of the darkness and into the light
Arise
Death and sin have forever lost the fight

Arise
Bringing hope with a brand new day
Arise
It’s time to show the world that love is the only way

Arise

(verse two)

Nailed to the cross, darkness was all I knew
I died to me, I called out to You
Body pushed to the limits, I always knew Your reach
I ran towards the light, it burned inside of Me

Then Your hand reached down, at the end of three days
You whispered in the morning, You called Me by name
You said arise, my Son, it’s time to come home
Come sit at my side, be at rest on Your throne

(repeat chorus)

Forever Lord


Even though I have no musical skills whatsoever, I enjoy writing song lyrics. Knowing all that Christ went through for me at the Cross, I can’t help but continually write out my appreciation. I wrote these lyrics earlier this morning.

Jesus didn’t die on that Cross to point out our sin, He died to demonstrate how much the Father loves us. How much value we have. How much worth. Life can beat us up, people can say or think what they want about us, but it doesn’t matter. We were created in the very image of God Himself. That means our value and worth were already determined. Jesus paid a high price for us. Let’s follow Him.

 
Forever Lord
Copyright 2014 Chris Martin

(verse one)

The day was dark, love hung on a tree
Crimson stains, nail scarred hands
Crown of thorns that bit so deep
The look in His eyes, no one could understand

Bruised and broken, nothing left of a man
Blood stained face, eyes that could barely see
Darkened clouds, fury of a tormented sky
He paid the price for all humanity

(chorus)

He gave His life to show us who we are
Every wrong we’ve ever done
Washed away as He took the scars

Once again, the world restored
He brought us back to our Father
With open arms, forever Lord

With open arms, forever Lord

(verse two)

Three days passed, all hope was lost
Disciples in hiding, fear of the crowd
Knowing their Jesus had to pay the cost
With the blood of a lamb, soaking the ground

True to His word, the stone rolled away
Death had no power to keep a slave
Mary in tears, what a glorious day
When Jesus, our Lord, walked away from the grave

(repeat chorus)

The good ol’ days


Growing up, I never had an iPhone, iPad, iPod, or a watch that could make telephone calls. I had little green army men, tons of rubber bands, and grass-stained jeans. I would spend hours outside in the Summer doing…well, everything. I could make an adventure out of anything. If I found a stick and some rocks, I was entertained for hours. With a football, and no one else around, I could win Super Bowls. Late night basketball sessions were a staple in my high school years. I would always make the winning shot to end the championship game. Oh, and if I missed, well, that meant I got fouled and went to the free throw line to decide the outcome. I would walk into the house at night a complete sweaty, dirty, and often bruised-and-banged-up mess. It was awesome.

Technology has radically changed our lives. The question is, has it changed for better, or for worse?

I love technology. My wife can attest to that. I always get the latest Windows version, iOS version, and when possible, the newest phone. When I update the software on her laptop, she can’t stand it. She doesn’t like to learn something new when she’s been using the same thing for so long. If I even mentioned installing Windows 8 on the laptop right now, I would probably get punched in the face. (Side note: I’m not a huge fan of Windows 8, but have found a way to make it work like Windows 7. Google “Classic Shell”. Install that, and you can thank me later.)

When I wasn’t out enjoying nature, I was reading books. Lots and lots of books. I would read the same ones over and over. I found myself becoming a character in the stories, and my imagination took me places technology never could. It wasn’t unusual for me to start a book right before bed and not put it down until I had completely read every page.

When was the last time you opened your mailbox and there was a hand written letter waiting for you? Social media has taken the place of all communication among humans. Tweet this. Like that. Pin it. Comment here. Poke. Share. Link. Update. Post. Repeat.

Just recently, I was accused of being hateful just because I un-friended someone on Facebook. Come on. Hate is a pretty strong word. When did we become so invested in social media that it completely rules our lives? Or, why has it taken the place of real life? I’ve gone back and forth on using social media. I’ll have some of those apps on my phone for a while, then I just get tired of them, and delete. I hardly get on Facebook anymore. I rarely even scroll through the news feed. I check for any notifications, maybe post something now and then, but that’s about it.

Social media isn’t real life.

Talking to someone face to face. Shaking hands in a parking lot. Saying “I love you” as you put your arms around someone who is hurting. That’s real life. Those are the interactions that now seem strange, when they used to be all we could do.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying social media and technology are of the devil. Not at all. They both offer us opportunities we could never have dreamed about years ago. The problem comes in when we substitute those for reality.

This post reminded me of some lyrics I wrote back in 2003. I’ll leave you with those.

What Have We Done

(verse one)

The country’s on the brink of war again
We’ve got people getting out of jail
Before they’ve paid for all their sins

We have children killing children
It’s not safe to go to school
Since when is it ok to break the rules

I remember when a man’s word was his bond
Those days seem to be long gone
It’s getting hard to find the good in us
What happened to the phrase “In God We Trust”

(chorus)

You could walk down to the country store
And get a Coke for just five cents
The dream was living in a big house
With a little white picket fence

Now there’s bars on all the windows
You have to go out and buy a gun
It’s no place to raise our children
What have we done

(verse two)

Traffic’s backed up on the interstate
You got horns blowing, people yelling
Cause they just don’t want to wait

Little league game on a summer night
The kids can’t have any fun
Cause their parents just want to fight

A death row inmate watches time go by
In just three hours this man will have to die
His lawyer comes in says things have changed
I pulled some strings, now they think you’re insane

(repeat chorus)

In Memory of Sandy Hook (Finally Got My Wings)


It’s hard to believe that Saturday, December 14, will mark the one year anniversary of the horrible shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newtown. As with most tragedies, I usually express my thoughts by either writing a blog post or some song lyrics. I wrote this last year soon after the event.

My heart breaks for the families of the horrible tragedy in Newtown CT. While no words from the English language could truly comfort anyone, I hope that each parent, brother, sister, mother, father, and relative can somehow find peace knowing each child is resting safely in the arms of Jesus. As with most things, the incident sparked some song lyrics and I wrote them down. The title is Finally Got My Wings.

Finally Got My Wings
2012 Chris Martin

(verse one)

Hello Mom and Dad
I hate to see you both so sad
But I’m in a better place now

Through the tears and the pain
All the clouds filled with rain
You need to stay strong somehow

It’s really nice up here
No more hurt, no more fear
God says this is now our home

I am gone, but I hope you see
You’ll always have a part of me
Remember this when you feel alone

(chorus)

I finally got my wings
And it feels so good to fly
I know it’s hard to understand
Why I had to say goodbye

People say I’m too young
With a whole life ahead of me
But I’m with the angels now
I hope that you can see

That I finally got my wings

(verse two)

Hello Mom and Dad
I hate to see you both so sad
There’s so much I want to say

I know you had plans for me
I know how much you wanted to see
The smiles on my wedding day

Jesus is holding my hand
Dad, I hope you can understand
He’s going to walk me down the aisle

I’m sorry you can’t be here
Help Mom wipe away her tears
Think of me when you need to smile

And remember this when you feel alone

(repeat chorus)

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Have a blessed day.

The Day We Will Never Forget


I’ve read a lot of blog posts today about the horrific events that occurred on Sept 11, 2001. It’s so hard to believe that it’s been 12 years. Like everyone else, I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I was actually awakened around 3am with a dreadful feeling of anxiety. It was something I had never experienced and haven’t again to this day. All I could do was pray for everyone I could think of and then some. My mother was also up at the same time praying. We will probably never know if our prayers saved anyone’s life that morning.

I remember being glued to the TV for weeks. Crying with those who had lost loved ones. Praying for the ones who still didn’t know whether they had lost anyone or not. Rejoicing when families were re-united. Shaking my head in wonder and amazement at those who risked their lives to help others trapped under the rubble. It was a roller coaster ride of emotions that left me feeling helpless, speechless, and even more thankful for the loved ones I had in my life.

What struck me the most were the children who lost parents that day. Whether it was a mom or dad, or maybe both. No matter what age you are, losing a parent…well, to put it quite simply…it sucks. No amount of kind words, flowers, gift baskets, covered dishes, or well-meant intentions can ease that pain. People have said that time heals all pain. Not sure if those same people have ever lost a parent.

Soon after 9-11, I wrote some simple song lyrics in an attempt to put into words what I was feeling. In the last twelve years, my writing has improved immensely. I thought about re-writing this before I posted it, but I decided to leave it as-is. It’s called Pray For the Children. 

Pray For The Children

(verse one)

In a single moment
The whole world stood still
Time lost all meaning
It may never heal

So many innocent lives
Taken that September day
The shattered dreams of little children
It’s for them we need to pray

(chorus)

Pray for the children
Who were left behind
To face the world alone
So cruel and unkind

Johnny won’t play catch with daddy
Susie won’t get help from mommy
To pick a dress for her wedding day
A whole life completely swept away

Pray for the children

(verse two)

In a classroom full of kids
A teacher looks at each face
Tears well up in her eyes
As she’s taken to a different time and place

A little boy raises his hand
Her heart stops as she waits
He says “Teacher, please don’t cry
Mommy and daddy are waiting for me at Heaven’s gates”

9-11 memory

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Have a blessed day,

Chris

If These Walls Could Speak


I was talking with a One7 girl the other day and she was telling me more things about her life and the stuff she goes through. Her room is where she goes when nothing makes sense. It’s where she cries, laughs, prays, and tries to find hope. Everything she told me inspired these lyrics. It’s called If These Walls Could Speak.

If These Walls Could Speak
© 2013 Chris Martin

(verse one)

Another night of sadness, I whisper a silent prayer
I close the door, turn out the light, and hope You’re still there
Tired of feeling alone and unable to find a reason to live
Have I gone so far even You can’t forgive

In the darkness of my solitude, I trade the knife for a pen
With shaking hands, words on paper soothe my soul again

(chorus)

If these walls could speak, they would share a million stories
They’ve seen me try without fail, to exchange my pain for glory
If these walls could speak, they would paint quite the picture
Of a girl who can’t get it right, inspiration mixed with failure

They’ve watched me cry every night for a family I can’t save
Names etched with pencil, where paint has begun to fade
They’ve witness the hurt, the reason behind my scars
They listen as I cry out to God, with questions from a broken heart

If these walls could speak

(verse two)

The emptiness I feel is nothing compared to what You lost
When you gave us love, Your only son to die on the cross
As my tears start to fall, outside the sun begins to rise
A weary heart is thankful just to make it through the night

I take a deep breath, pray for courage to face the day
I look to You for hope, I look to You to guide my way

(repeat chorus)

Make sure to follow me on Twitter and/or Facebook by clicking on the appropriate link to the right. Thanks!

Have a blessed day,

Chris

Welcome to My Story


Last night, I dreamed about one of our One7 girls facing persecution and physical abuse at home. Sadly, this is not only a dream for most, but a vivid reality each and every day. I woke up at 4:30 with these lyrics swirling around my head and knew I had to write them down. This is called My Story.

My Story
© 2013 Chris Martin

(verse one)

Sitting here alone, the silence and the shadows speak to me and are my only friends
Between the lines, no one reads the words I write about my life and stories with no end
Tearstains on my pillow, a constant reminder of the night before
Bruises and scars, I don’t think I can take this anymore

(chorus)

Welcome to my story, a world that lingers just behind my smile
I don’t know if you want to, but I was hoping we could talk for a little while
There’s so much that I want to say, but the words get lost, please help me understand
They keep telling me God is in control, but I just can’t see His plan

My life doesn’t matter to anyone, I’ve known nothing but pain
For once I want to dance in the sun, but my world is darkened with rain
Don’t I deserve something different, I want the chance to have a better life
The knife on the floor, blade by the sink, they call my name tonight

Welcome to my story

(verse two)

In the silence, I cry out for help, but no one hears my voice
In the mirror, a stranger looks back and tells me I have no choice
No friends at school, nothing but endless rejection at home
In this world so full of people, why do I always feel alone

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)

I dig deep inside and find the strength to stand
Open the blinds, let the sun pour in, wipe the tears with my hand

(final chorus)

Welcome to my story, a world that lingers just behind my smile
I’m not sure if I can, but I need to talk to God for a little while
I’m so far from perfect, I know I am going to fall
Thankful for the grace and mercy of a savior, His blood covers it all

Welcome to my story

Story


I usually post on Mondays, but wanted to share this. Being around One7 for the last two years, I’ve seen, and heard about, a great amount of pain and heartbreak. The kids we work with are facing challenges every day, in school and at home. Something I always say is that everyone has a story. It’s true. Everyone does, and we should take the time to listen. I wrote this song entitled Story, with those thoughts in mind.

Story
Copyright 2012 Chris Martin

(verse one)

There she sits all alone, a smile upon her face
The girl in black, the rings and tats
In this world, she's so out of place

The other kids walk by, without a second glance
They can't see that she's dying inside
In this world, she just wants a chance

(chorus)

She wants to tell her story
To anyone who will listen
She wants to share her heart
And find the love that she's been missin'

All it takes is just a moment
To step into someone else's life
Everyone has a story
Let's make sure it doesn't end tonight

(verse two)

On the edge of heartbreak, the pain is always real
Even though there are no tears
The smile doesn't show what she feels

Don't be the one that walks by, without a second glance
You can see that she's dying inside
Be the one who gives her a chance

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)

A broken home, her Daddy left last week
She can't wipe away the tear stains on her cheek
She has nowhere to turn, no hope in sight
Be the answer to her prayers tonight

(repeat chorus)

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Have a blessed day,

Chris